trench friends

 Some people would call them inner circle friends, but I call them trench friends.  These are the people who sit in the pit of despair with me, hold my hand, and hand me tissues when I cry.  Sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally.  These are the friends that show up for the worst of times...and the best of times and everything in between.  

My life is blessed with trench friends.  Physical proximity is not a requirement.  I have one who lives hundreds of miles away.  There are others in my church community and in my school community.  And I'm grateful that my husband is always in the trenches with me.

I had an "aha" moment this morning at church about my trench friends.  A bit of background first...I've been talking with one of my trench friends about how to be a trench friend.  Can anyone be a trench friend?  Is it a learned skill or something we just know?  What is it that makes someone a trench friend?  Something my pastor said this morning resonated with me in light of these questions.  Our human relationships can only go as deep as we are willing to go in our relationships with God.  

I stopped to evaluate and pray after I wrote that last sentence.  Where is my own relationship with God?  Am I willing to go deeper?  Am I willing to trust Him with everything?  Am I willing to put in the time and the effort?  My answer is a resounding yes.  It is the only way I will be able to put one foot in front of the other for the rest of my life here on earth.

I am a trench friend for others and so I must continue deeper in my relationship with God, for my own benefit and for the benefit of those with whom I get in the trenches.  Do you want to be a trench friend?  Pursue a deeper relationship with God through reading the Bible and prayer.  That is the key.

In this grief journey, I have certainly questioned God.  I have been angry at Him, yelling and shaking my fist at heaven.  But at the end of the day, my faith in Him is the foundation of me.  I will never understand the loss and tragedy in this life.  I hope there will be clarity in heaven.  Or maybe it just won't matter once I am there.  The only thing I know to do to keep from sinking into despair is to press closer to God and keep my eyes on the finish line in heaven.

And that is where my trench friends come in.  They point me to Jesus.  They pray for me.  They remind me that this life is not all that there is.  They remind me that God is here with me and not just in heaven with my family.  They speak truth with love.  It is a gracious gift from God to be entrusted with trench friends.  I am so grateful for each of them!

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