footprints

 There is a headstone in Loveland Burial Park with my name on it.  After Christopher's accident, we bought 3 cemetery plots and ordered a 9 foot long headstone for all 3 plots.  The middle plot is occupied by Christopher and the headstone bears his name, birthdate, and the date he left this life.  Joe and I have only our names and birthdates on either side of Christopher's.  It is evidence that we existed, chiseled in stone, and a strange reminder that this life is going to end.  That stone is not the only mark that Christopher left on this earth and I don't want it to be the only evidence of my life either.

Yesterday, an adult friend of Christopher's, someone he had worked with, came to see me.  He is getting married this summer and he wants to honor Christopher at his wedding by having a picture of him there.  If Christopher were alive, he would definitely be there to celebrate with his friend.  It reminded me that Christopher left footprints in the lives of many people even in his brief 16 years and almost 8 months of life.  I am grateful every time someone shares with us the impact he had on their life.  His footprints have been left everywhere he was and on many hearts.  

I have always been a person who wants to make an impact in this life.  And for a long time, I thought I had to do something noteworthy, something big.  But when I leave this life, there will only be a headstone with my name on it as a permanent reminder of me.  No awards.  Nothing named after me.  Simply the footprints that I leave on hearts, and I am okay with that.  

I make lots of mistakes every day.  I use words and actions that are not helpful and might even leave hurtful footprints behind.  I pray that God shows me those so that words of apology might wash away those footprints like waves of the ocean on the sand.  That is not what I want to be remembered by. 

As a teacher, I connect with hundreds of people each day...students, parents, coworkers, family, friends...and I have the opportunity to leave footprints.  Often my parting words to someone are "I love you", and I mean it.  Even to some of my students.  That is how I want to be remembered.  As someone who loved out loud, even when my heart is broken and hurting.  

My own life has been impacted by deep love and deep grief and deep footprints.  My parents said I love you openly and freely every day, and they demonstrated their love in a myriad of ways.  My brother's last words to me were I love you, and we had said it many times before.  Christopher ended every phone call to me and every day with I love you.  I will always be grateful because I know that those relationships had foundations of deep love.  We said it and we knew it and the footprints are on my heart forever.  

Jesus told His disciples that the world would know that they were His followers because of the love that they had for each other and those around them.  He also said that the greatest commandment was to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.  

I continue to see evidence of the footprints of love that my son left on this earth.  He got it.  I am so grateful.  He will be remembered by more than just the stone in the ground at the cemetery.  That's how I want to be remembered too.

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